In the 1990s, if you were looking foredgy fareon network television, you’d be looking atLaw & Order,My So-Called Life, orNYPD Blue. In fact, you’d probably hitAnimaniacsorThe Magic School Busbefore even considering the popular Western dramaDr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.The series, which ran on CBS for 6 seasons between 1993 and 1998, starsJane Seymouras the titular Dr. Michaela Quinn, aka “Dr. Mike,” a female physicianwho sets up a practicein the town of Colorado Springs. The series is as squeaky-clean and family-friendly as they come, in the vein of predecessors likeThe WaltonsorLittle House on the Prairie. But imagine ifDr. Quinn, Medicine Womanwas as edgy and darkas, say,Breaking Bad. What would that look like? Well, imagine no more, asFunny or Die pulled the original cast together to picture what such a scenario would look like, in 2014’s short “Dr. Quinn, Morphine Woman.”
What Is “Dr. Quinn, Morphine Woman” About?
The short begins with a very Hallmark-style shot of Seymour’s Quinn andJoe Lando’s Byron Sully in costume, laughing together, behind the titleDr. Quinn’s Return to Televisionbefore shifting focus to Seymour herself, who starts by saying, “When they first came to me with the idea of rebootingDr. Quinn, I was excited.” The punchline is set up immediately by Lando, who stresses,“We knew we couldn’t just bring back the samebeloved ’90s family drama. We’d have to reinvent itfor the Netflix generation.”
Cue the joke, which hingeson the premise of the reboot. See,Dr. Quinn has been prescribing nothing but morphine, in addition to cocaine and whiskey, to her patients in the years following the series finale, and in doing so, has turned the entire town of Colorado Springs into addicts. As the premise is being laid out, Dr. Quinn is seen walking down the road toward the camera, her face hidden by her hat. The camera settles into a close-up of Quinn as she tilts her head upwards, revealing theWalter White-type glassesshe now wears. Fitting, now that she is a drug lord,going by the moniker Dr. Quinn, Morphine Woman.
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‘Dr. Quinn, Morphine Woman’ Is a Hilarious Send-Up of Two Iconic Series
Just in case you didn’t knowwhatDr. Quinn, Morphine Womanwas parodying, a title card appears in the familiar table of elements style ofBreaking Badthat readsDr. Quinn. What follows is a send-up of both shows, with the townspeople banging on Dr. Quinn’s practice door, demanding more morphine. Shots of Dr. Quinn mixing her morphine mirror similar shots ofBryan Cranston’s Walter White doing the same. EvenBreaking Bad’s Skinny Pete (Charles Baker) makes an appearance, helping Dr. Quinnwith her morphine mixology. As one person says, “This ain’t your mama’s Dr. Quinn,” a point that’s driven home in the short’s most maniacal moment,as a sadistic Quinnforces her patient, a man with a sliver, to take morphine, smiling at having hooked another soul.
Former cast talk aboutbeing impressed with the directionof the new series, althoughGeoffrey Lower, who plays Rev. Timothy Johnson, admits that he doesn’t get it. Then Quinn, wearing that same wicked smile and holding a gun in her hand, walks slowly towards a man begging for his life,and demands that he say her name,a nod to the fan-favorite Season 5 episode ofBreaking Bad, “Say My Name”(which isn’t “woman doctor, doctor woman, you’re the doctor, the doctor woman” that he stammers). By the way, if you’re wondering if Quinn and Sully are still together, they are; only Sully’s hair is much, much longer, not having had it cut since he was last seen in Colorado Springs with her.
Throughout the short, the cast hilariously talks about not understanding how the rebooted seriescould possibly be comparedtoBreaking BadThe short leaves off with Seymour talking to the camera with one final “This isn’tBreaking Bad” moment: “This is absolutely original.Nothing like anything you’ve ever seen before. It’s magic!”
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Womanis available to stream in the U.S. on Prime Video.
Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman
The trials and adventures of a female doctor in a small Wild West town.
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