The year was 1979 and a young Austrian muscle hunk namedArnold Schwarzenegger, who just two years earlier had made a splash in the bodybuilding documentaryPumping Iron, was looking to make a name for himself as a Hollywood actor. A former stunt person namedHal Needhamhad recently scored a smash hit with his directorial debut,Smokey and the Bandit, an adrenaline-fueled road romp about two renegades (Burt ReynoldsandSally Field) involved in a high-speed chase from the law.
Needham, who had performed stunts in theMel BrooksclassicBlazing Saddles, was looking to make a comic western in the same spirit as the Brooks vehicle. Needham enlisted the services of relatively unknown writerRobert G. Kaneto createThe Villain, a light piece of Old West-style slapstick about a bad cowboy trying to steal some loot from a good cowboy. Needham saw an opportunity to combine the two things at which he excelled — action and physical comedy — with a vision to create a sort of live-actionLooney Tunesfeature, complete withWile E. CoyoteandRoadrunnercartoon-inspired pranks and pratfalls. What could possibly go wrong? Everything.
The Villain
‘The Villain’ Is a Feature-Length Script With a One-Joke Premise
Conceptually,The Villainhad the potential to be a gem — aBlazing Saddles-meets-Smokey and the Banditadventure farce.But it’s what actually ended up on paper that proved to be one of the film’s biggest problems. Screenwriter Robert G. Kane, best known for penning one-liners for theDean Martin Celebrity Roasttelevision specials of the 1970s, was tasked with creating a feature-length film from what was essentially a one-joke concept. Cactus Jack (Kirk Douglas) is facing death by hanging for a failed bank robbery, but is given amnesty by a shady banker (Jack Elam) by agreeing to prevent comely young lass Charming Jones (Ann-Margret) and Handsome Stranger (Schwarzenegger), the hero protecting her, from getting back to her father’s home with a box of cash they’re transporting via horse and carriage. As the silly-named Charming and Handsome make their way through the dusty cactus-laden southwestern landscape, Jack repeatedly tries — and fails — to set booby traps that will stop their journey.
Save for an incomprehensible and needless subplot involving an offensive, mumbling Native American chief named Nervous Elk (Paul Lynde) and his equally inept sidekick Mashing Finger (Robert Tessler), there’s really nothing more to the film.Douglas' Cactus Jack is part Wile E. Coyote, part Snidely Whiplash, constantly setting up methods to ambush his foes and forever being hoisted by his own petard. Schwarzenegger’s Handsome Stranger is part Roadrunner, part bumbling Dudley Do-Right, blithely unaware of the chaos surrounding him. For her part, Ann-Margret’s Charming is the oversexed, but underserved version of Dudley Do-Right’s beautiful Nell Fenwick, a damsel in distress whose only real distress is her frustration over Charming’s complete disinterest in her physical allure. It’s virtually impossible to stretch these threadbare elements and characterizations into a full-length feature, not to mention squeeze the tiniest bit of humor from them.
To make things more unbearable,the script is riddled with hokey innuendo and sight gagsthat even an adolescent would groan at. When Ann-Margret’s Charming first meets Schwarzenegger’s Handsome, she’s carrying two pieces of luggage. Leaning forward while displaying her busty chest, she asks him, “Would you mind taking hold of these, please?” While fleeing from a troupe of Native Americans hot on their trail, Handsome and Charming cross over a white line in the dirt road next to a sign that says, “Leaving Indian County.” The natives come to a screeching halt behind the line, and Handsome and Charming continue on their way. Not exactly comedy gold, nor is it something that has aged well.
‘The Villain’ Stars a Stellar Cast in Less Than Stellar Roles
In spite of the hackneyed plot and script,The Villainshould have been saved by its stellar cast.Unfortunately, director Hal Needham did nothing to serve his actors well.Putting the legendary Kirk Douglas in the lead role as the film’s nemesis was a genius choice. Douglas had appeared in a number of Westerns throughout his career, including classics like 1957’sGunfight at the O.K. Corraland 1962’sLonely Are the Brave, butThe Villainwas Douglas' first foray into comedy. Sadly, Needham gave Douglas few opportunities to flex his comic chops, choosing instead to have the actor slam into the sides of mountains and fall from great heights, mugging in an exaggerated manner along the way. Throughout most of the film, Douglas plays opposite a horse named Whiskey, delivering most of his dialogue to the feisty black stallion. In all fairness, however, despite the cards dealt to him in the role, Douglas makes the most of his time onscreen and is the only actor who appears to be having a genuinely good time.
Ann-Margret, a fiery sex symbol fromBye Bye BirdieandViva Las Vegas, seems completely out of place as Charming. While still stunningly gorgeous, she was 38 years old when she appeared inThe Villainand more than a bit past the ideal age to play the part of the “daddy’s little girl” trope on her first adventure away from home. She spends most of the film looking lustfully at Schwarzenegger’s Handsome, feeling his muscles, and getting frustrated by his lack of attention towards her. Until the movie’s final act, she had little else to do.
Then there’s Arnold Schwarzenegger himself. In 1977’sPumping Iron, the burly young physique competitor was charismatic, intelligent, and fascinating, and the movie captured the up-and-comer’s “it” factor. InThe Villain,Needham failed to take advantage of Schwarzenegger’s charisma, choosing instead to go the easy route and have him play Handsome as the stereotypical “all brawn, no brains” muscle hunk. Handsome does ridiculous things like stopping a fire brigade carriage because he mistakes it for a herd of runaway horses, and forcibly helping an elderly woman cross the street, even though the woman doesn’t want to make the journey at all. Dressed head to toe in a baby blue cowboy getup that heavily resembles the outfit worn by actorClayton Moorein the 1950sThe Lone RangerTV series, Schwarzenegger’s Handsome is nothing more than a lump of beef. Finally,Paul Lynde, a gifted comedian and master of spontaneous comeback quips during his star turn onThe Hollywood Squares, is one giant cringe in his role as Nervous Elk, a character so politically incorrect and offensive that it couldn’t possibly make it to the big screen in today’s climate.
‘The Villain’ Offers a Cartoon Concept in a Live-Action Film
Ultimately, along with the poor script, directing, and casting, it’sThe Villain’s cartoonish concept that makes the movie fall flat. Cartoons are funny because, well, they’re cartoons. WhenWile E. Coyote does a full body slam into the side of a rock wall, audiences laugh because the coyote isn’t real and everyone knows he’ll be fully recovered and onto another misadventure in the next scene. When Kirk Douglas slams into a rock, it feels painful, but not all that funny, even when accompanied byLooney Tunes-style music because Douglas is a real human being who would be gravely injured by such a mishap.The Villaineven tries the old cartoon trope of painting the side of a mountain to look like the opening of a tunnel. Cactus Jake takes a can of black paint and carefully uses his brush strokes to make it look like a passageway on the side of a rocky surface. He then waits for Handsome and Charming to come riding along and smack into them. Of course, they drive their carriage right through it, but when Jack tries to run through the same black spot, he flattens himself.
It’s a gag that’s funny in cartoons because of its sheer absurdity. However,when attempted in “real life” with real actors, it’s a setup that fails to deliver a comic punchas it makes no sense in the real world. Honestly, how long can an audience be expected to watch a seemingly endless parade of ludicrous sight gags like this?In his review ofThe Villain, film criticGene Siskelpointed this out as one of the film’s fatal flaws. “Even theRoad Runnercartoons don’t try to push their repetitive humor for more than 10 minutes,” he wrote. “The Villainruns for an hour-and-a-half, and during that time there is no character development, just feeble jokes.”
This also brings up the subject of the demographic at whichThe Villainwas aimed. In addition to actors like Douglas and Ann-Margret from Hollywood’s studio system days, the movie featured cameos from a number of 1970s TV celebrities, includingFoster Brooks,Ruth Buzzi, and country singerMel Tillis, naturally tilting the expected audience toward the more mature side. But could middle-aged movie-goers really be expected to sit through a 90-minuteLooney Tunesfeature?
A Box Office Bomb That Didn’t Ruin Its Stars' Careers
The answer was a resounding “no.“The Villainwas a box office bombfinishing in 64th place among 1979’s releases.In addition, critics were nearly unanimous in their disdain for the film, withThe New York Daily Newscalling it “a hopelessly stupid Western spoof.” In fact, the movie was so poorly received in the U.S. that it was renamedCactus Jackwhen released internationally. Thankfully,The Villaindidn’t end the careers of its participants. Director Hal Needham returned to his comfort zone in comedy adventures with aSmokey and the Banditsequel, as well as the popularCannonball Runfilms.
Although Kirk Douglas was winding down his movie career, he continued to work regularly, most notably in the award-winning 1982 film,The Man from Snowy River. Ann-Margret received an Emmy nomination in 1982 for her performance as Blanche DuBois in the television version ofA Streetcar Named Desire, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, of course, found his niche in the action-adventure genre, starting with 1982’sConan the Barbarian, then moving on to the iconicTerminatorfranchise. Still,The Villainstands as an example of what can go wrong when the best-laid movie plans get mislaid.
