It is an inevitability, no matter what the medium or concept, that for every groundbreaking and exceptionally high-quality piece of art or creation, there will also be examples that fail to meet the mark and disappoint. This exact concept also applies to movies and filmmaking, as every film can’t be a stunning masterwork made with the highest quality in mind, as there will always be those that fall below the standards of quality. However, some films manage to go above and beyond in terms of their complete lack of any redeeming qualities, rendering them nearly unwatchable as a result.
It takes an especially painful and egregious execution to create an unwatchable film, being distinctly different from a film simply being terrible in every way. Even many of the perceived worst films of all time likeManos: The Hands of FateandThe Roomhaveso-bad-its-good qualitiesthat make them highly entertaining watches for all the wrong reasons. To become truly unwatchable, a film has to find a way tocompletely lack entertaining qualities in the worst way possible, whether it be through shocking and uncomfortable content or just overall dull and incredibly boring pacing.
10’The Legend of the Titanic' (1999)
Directed by Orlando Corradi and Kim Jun Ok
Being at one point the highest-grossing movie of all time and a worldwide phenomenon that defined 90s filmmaking, it was inevitable that other films would attempt to copy and ride the coattails ofJames Cameron’sTitanic. One of the worst of theseTitanicripoffsis the Italian animated filmThe Legend of the Titanic, which mostly copies the plot of Cameron’s film with the implementation of talking animal side plots and a complete disrespect for the original tragedy itself.
While its already bad enough to water down and diminish the emotional impact and effectiveness of its romance story with an array of annoying talking animals,the biggest issue ofThe Legend of the Titaniccomes from its rewriting of the historical event. In an attempt to make the film more family-friendly and safe for all audiences, the film features a giant octopus who ends up coming to the rescue after the crash, saving all of those aboard the Titanic. Through its rewriting of history and actively spitting in the face of the legacy of those who lost their lives, it’s hard to not feel sick and disgusted withThe Legend of the Titanic.
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9’Leonard Part 6' (1987)
Directed by Paul Weiland
One of the biggest culprits for truly unwatchable films is a failed comedy film, as while the failure of any other genre results in unintentional comedy,failure in the realm of comedy only results in awkwardness and boredom. As far as 80s comedies are concerned, few are as uninteresting and painfully dull asLeonard Part 6, theBill Cosby-led spy parody without a single good joke. Even without the poorly aged modern context of the heinous actions that Cosby has committed, this film still wouldn’t be worth watching due to its complete lack of care or effective gags.
Leonard Part 6is one of the quintessential examples of how poorly a comedy film can end up being when it completely drops the ball in the realm of comedy, with the resulting film being a painful slog whose short 85-minute runtime feels as if it’s going on forever. Considering just how prevalent and prolific spoof and parody movies were in the 80s, it would seem as though this film would be a surefire hit, yet it does nothing interesting with its concept and pales in comparison to actual great spoof films of the era likeThe Naked Gun.
Leonard Part 6
8’Slender Man' (2018)
Directed by Sylvain White
A once major figure in the world of internet horror, it certainly makes sense that a feature film revolving aroundSlender Manwould be released, yet this painful and uneventful snoozefest ends up doing a major disservice to the legacy of the character. Theunwatchable horror moviewas directly impacted andplagued by real-life tragediesthat forced filmmakers to tone down the more mature themes and scares to get a PG-13 rating. It’s difficult to imagine the film working even if it maintained its original vision, butthe final result has genuinely nothing to offer in terms of a supernatural horror film.
For a film titledSlender Man, it features very little of the monster himself, with the majority of his scenes and scares being cut during the film, and instead focusing on a group of wholly unlikable and generic teenage girls. When he finally does decide to provide some scares for the audience, it ends up being largely watered down and ineffective due to its overabundance of cheap jumpscares and uninteresting visuals. There’s certainly a correct way to tell this story and do the character justice, yetSlender Manmanages to be the absolute worst way to make a movie about the character.
Slender Man
7’Bolero' (1984)
Directed by John Derek
One of the most disgusting and uncomfortable romance films of the 80s,Bolerohas lived in infamy ever since its release through its combination of boring execution and sickening implications. While stories of young women getting in touch with their sexuality and romantic side have found success both before and after the film’s release,Bolero’s shocking and uncaring execution of its story makes it morally abhorrent to watch unfold. It finds the worst possible balance between being wholly uninteresting and boring in one second and having shocking, distasteful underage nudity in the next second.
The film has achieved notable status asthe only film to feature both a 0% on Rotten Tomatoes and an F from CinemaScore, cementing it as a film that nobody has found any enjoyment in. There is nothing romantic or tantalizing about the story and sequence ofBolero, managing to instead create an essence of pure disgust and anger through its shocking content. The film has all the writing strength and filmmaking execution of a poorly made porn sketch with the gravitas and self-entitlement of treating it like an auteuristic work of art.
6’Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas' (2014)
Directed by Darren Doane
Faith-based filmmaking is often a relatively easy punching bag when it comes to ineffective filmmaking whose focus is in all the wrong places, yet films likeKirk Cameron’s Saving Christmasprove to make all of these criticisms and complaints ring true.The film only barely meets the qualifications for being considered a movie, as it mostly comes across as a feature-length presentation fromKirk Cameronexplaining why Christmas still rings true to Christian standards in the modern world.
For what is presented and set up as a wild fantasy comedy holiday film in the same vein asNational Lampoon’s Christmas VacationorHome Alone,Saving Christmasoffers nothing in terms of hijinks or holiday entertainment. While the film may hold some minuscule value for those looking for the film equivalent of a faith-based lecture, the vast majority of audiences and critics found this approach rather monotonous and boring, cementing it as one of theworst Christmas movies of all time.
Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas
5’Disaster Movie' (2008)
Directed by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
One of the most widely despised and hated trends in comedy that thrived and dominated throughout the 2000s was the sleazy, raunchy take on spoof movies, focusing more on shock humor and references over actual good comedy. While any number of these films can be considered unwatchable in their own right, the worst of the worst has to go toDisaster Movie, a laughably bad attempt at satirizing the trends of large-budget disaster films.
The movie has the sense of humor and style of an obnoxious middle schooler who just learned how to swear, putting as many shocking and poor-taste jokes in the film with no care or restraint. While this at the very least sounds somewhat appealing to those who enjoy a darker sense of humor,the film quickly grows tiring and repetitious to the point of anger,further amplified by its uncaring approach to reference humor. This film’s widespread failure would help bring an end to this trend of terrible spoof movies, as they are not nearly as prevalent as they once were in the decades prior.
Disaster Movie
4'365 Days' (2020)
Directed by Barbara Bialowąs and Tomasz Mandes
Taking the limits of erotic filmmaking to their absolute extremes, 365 Days goes out of its way to feature some of the most sexual content imaginable, taking focus away from any depth to its characters and entirely focusing on its eroticism. While a film being in touch with more sexual content isn’t inherently a bad thing,365 Daysreaches a point of absurdity,almost feeling like full-on adult content in its execution, made worse by its deeply disgusting and problematic setup and premise.
Theterribly written romance movietruly has nothing close to substance or meaning behind its erotic sequences, which portray a sickening power fantasy of a rich man kidnapping a woman and forcing her to fall in love with him. Even compared to other notoriously bad films that largely rely on sexual content, likeFifty Shades of Grey,365 Daystruly has nothing to offer outside its controversial sex scenes, with rarely even an attempt from the film to pretend otherwise.
3’Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny' (1972)
Directed by R. Winer
For the most part, many of the notoriously terrible low-budget films can find an array of entertainment value from the unintentional comedy and the abundance of their mistakes, yetSanta and the Ice Cream Bunny’s low-budget execution is a notorious exception to this rule. There is no inherent charm or value within the cheap, money-saving antics of the film, withits frequent ineptitude quickly becoming a case of padding out the runtime by any means necessary.
The film even manages to make one of the strangest and most unbelievable decisions in any bad movie, directly giving up partway through and simply showing another film in its entirety in the middle, credits and all. This manages to take up over half of the runtime of the film, dragging the pacing of the film to a complete halt and making the entire experience that much more inexcusable. Between these blatantly inexcusable decisions and the abundance of nightmare-fueled visuals, the film quickly becomes a test of patience and a sore to the eyes.
Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny
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2’Finding Jesus' (2020)
Directed by Jason Wright
It’s difficult to think of a single film, animated or otherwise, more lazy and uncaring in its execution thanFinding Jesus, a film that actively spits in the face of the medium of animation with its heinous execution. The film easily makes for one of theworst animated movies of all time, managing to havethe cinematic depth and visual acuity of a PowerPoint presentation instead of a feature-length film. Instead of animating each individual scene, the film uses the same shots of each character floating around while it shoddily lipsyncs their dialogue, with the total amount of original animation in the film being 2 minutes, tops.
Seeing the same animation cycles and shots over and over grows tiresome by the first minute of the film and becomes unbearable by the 10-minute mark, yet the film trudges on for a painful 69-minute runtime. The story itself is also painfully uninteresting, as it amounts to two fish traveling around the ocean and telling different characters about the kindness and love of God and Jesus. However, the film’s kindhearted message of togetherness is immediately thrown out the window when it features one of the most egregious racist caricatures in recent memory with a living piece of sushi.
Finding Jesus
1’Slaughtered Vomit Dolls' (2006)
Directed by Lucifer Valentine
A defining moment in horror movie history was the rise of shocking and disturbing horror films that were continuously pushing the barrier of disturbing and depraved content in the 2000s with films likeSaw,Hostel, andThe Human Centipede. It was only a matter of time before a line was crossed to create a film that is so disturbing that it ends up being unwatchable, even the most jaded and desensitized of viewers. Infamous and anonymous filmmakerLucifer Valentinewould prove to become the figurehead for going to far beyond this line, with his directorial debut,Slaughtered Vomit Dolls, living in pure infamy.
While other highly disturbing torture porn films at the very least attempted to have overarching themes or messaging to their disturbing content, Valentine’s films are pure shock value for the sake of shock value. From frequent vomit and dismemberment to an overall tone of pure sadistic hatred,Slaughtered Vomit Dollshasthe energy and aura of a disturbed snuff film that was never meant to be seen by human eyes. Its display of deeply unsettling content continues to one-up itself throughout its 71-minute runtime, going well beyond what could be ethical to create a fundamentally unwatchable experience.
Slaughtered Vomit Dolls
NEXT:The Worst Horror Movies of All Time, According to Roger Ebert
